September 4


Why Won’t They Listen? The Frustrating Reality of Parents Ignoring Logic

By Joshua Turner

September 4, 2023

Have you ever tried to reason with your parents, only to have them dismiss your logical arguments? It can be frustrating when you feel like your parents aren’t listening to you, especially when you’re trying to make a valid point. But why don’t parents always respond to logical reasoning?

One reason is that parents and children may have a gap in understanding. Parents may have more life experience and knowledge, making it difficult to see things from their child’s perspective. They may also have different values and beliefs than their children, leading to disagreements and misunderstandings.

Another factor is the role of emotions in communication. Parents may be influenced by their feelings, which can cloud their judgment and make it harder for them to see things objectively. Emotions are critical in all communication, and learning to manage them effectively can help improve communication with parents.

Key Takeaways

  • Parents may have different perspectives and values than their children, leading to a gap in understanding.
  • Emotions can influence communication, making it necessary to manage them effectively.
  • Learning effective communication techniques can help bridge the gap between parents and children.

Understanding the Gap

Perspective Differences

There are some possible reasons parents may not listen. Parents have more life experience and may have different values, beliefs, and priorities. Therefore, what may seem rational to their children may not be to them.


Respect is a component of any relationship. If children want their parents to listen to their reasoning, they must first show respect to their parents. This means treating them with kindness, empathy, and understanding, even when disagreeing.


Parents are often busy with work, household chores, and other responsibilities. As a result, they may only sometimes give their children the attention they need. It can lead to misunderstandings and miscommunications.

If children want their parents to listen to their analytical reasoning, they must first get their attention. This may mean finding a time when their parents are free or approaching them calmly and respectfully.

Awareness of the gap between parents and their children is necessary for effective communication. Recognizing perspective differences, showing respect, and getting their attention can create an environment where their parents are more likely to listen to their logical reasoning.

The Science Behind It

Neuroscience and Parenting

The relationship between parents and children is complex and multifaceted, and it’s no surprise that sometimes parents don’t seem to listen to their children’s reasoning.

Neuroscience research has shown that when we are under stress, our brains shift into a more primitive mode of thinking, making it harder to reason objectively. This is particularly relevant for parents, who often juggle multiple responsibilities and may be experiencing high-stress levels.

Child Development

Another factor is the stage of development that their child is in. Children’s brains develop at different rates, and what may seem like a coherent argument to a child may not be developmentally appropriate for their age. It’s vital for parents to understand the cognitive abilities of their children and to tailor their communication accordingly.


The science behind why parents may not listen to insightful reasoning from their children is complex and multifaceted. Grasping the role of neuroscience and child development can better navigate these challenges and cultivate healthy communication with their children.

Communication Techniques

Effective Conversation

When communicating with your parents, use effective conversation techniques. This means actively listening to their concerns and responding calmly and respectfully. Avoid interrupting them or getting defensive, as this can escalate the situation and make it harder to have a productive conversation. Focus on finding common ground and working towards a solution together.

Managing Anger

Feeling frustrated or angry when your parents don’t listen to your logical reasoning is natural. However, you can healthily manage these emotions. Take a deep breath and remain calm, even if your parents are getting heated.

You can also try using “I” statements to express your feelings without blaming your parents. For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try saying, “I feel like my opinions aren’t being heard.”

Effective communication and anger management techniques can help you have more productive conversations with your parents. Staying calm and respectful can help parents and children work towards finding common ground and reaching a mutual understanding.

The Role of Feelings

Emotional Influence

Parents are human beings susceptible to emotional influence, just like everyone else. Even if you present them with analytical reasoning, their emotions may override their ability to see things objectively. Therefore, acknowledge their feelings in communicating with your parents.

Recognize that your parents’ feelings are valid and deserve to be heard. When you acknowledge their emotions, it can help them feel understood and can open up a more productive dialogue.

Dealing with Toxic Feelings

It’s necessary to distinguish between healthy emotions and toxic feelings. Toxic emotions can harm communication, leading to misunderstandings and even conflict.

If your parents’ feelings are toxic, address them in a healthy way. You can do this by setting boundaries, expressing your feelings respectfully, and seeking professional help if necessary.

Acknowledging their feelings and distinguishing between healthy and toxic emotions can help you navigate difficult conversations with your parents.

Understanding and Using Logical Consequences

One way to help parents understand is by introducing them to consequences. Logical consequences result from a specific action or behavior and are directly related to the situation. By using them, parents can help their children understand the cause and effect of their actions and make better decisions in the future.

Using them should be related to the behavior and not be punitive. For example, if a child forgets to do their homework, this type of consequence would be only to allow them to watch TV once the assignment is completed. This consequence directly relates to the behavior and helps the child understand the importance of completing homework.

Involve the child in the process of determining the logical consequence. This helps them take ownership of their actions and understand the reasoning behind the result. Parents can also help their children develop problem-solving skills and learn how to make better decisions in the future.


Using them can be an effective way for parents to help their children understand the consequences of their actions and make better decisions in the future. Keeping the results related to the behavior and involving the child in the process, parents can help their children develop problem-solving skills and take ownership of their actions.

Helpful Tools and Resources

Relevant University Studies

Several studies conducted by universities have explored the reasons why parents may not listen to logical reasoning. These studies can provide helpful insights into the issue.

For example, a study by the University of California found that parents may be more likely to listen to their children’s opinions if they feel respected and valued.

Another study by the University of Michigan found that parents may be more likely to listen to logical reasoning if it is calm and respectful.

Technical Aids

Several technical aids can be used to help parents listen to reason. For example, some apps can help parents track their child’s progress and provide feedback on their performance. Some websites offer resources for parents to communicate effectively with their children.


Several ideas can be used to help parents listen to analytical reasoning. For example, parents can be encouraged to step back and attend to their child’s point of view before responding. They can also be enabled to use active listening techniques, such as repeating back what their child has said to ensure they understand it correctly.

Several helpful tools and resources are available to help parents listen to logical reasoning. Universities have conducted studies that provide valuable insights into the issue, while technical aids and ideas can be used to help parents communicate more effectively with their children.


Communication is a two-way street. While it’s frustrating when parents don’t listen to logical reasoning,  approach the situation with patience and understanding. It’s also important to recognize that parents may have biases and experiences that shape their perspective.

Building a solid relationship with your parents is key to effective communication. This means taking the time to listen to their perspective and showing empathy toward their concerns. It may also mean finding common ground and compromising on specific issues.

Overall, improving communication with your parents takes time and effort. It requires open-mindedness, active listening, and a willingness to understand each other’s perspectives. Taking these steps can build a stronger relationship with your parents and improve communication in the long run.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I communicate with my parents so they will understand my perspective?

Approach conversations with your parents calmly and respectfully. Avoid getting defensive or emotional; instead, focus on expressing your thoughts and feelings clearly. Using “I” statements can be helpful, as it emphasizes your perspective rather than placing blame on your parents.

What are some effective strategies for getting my parents to listen to me?

Active listening can be a powerful tool in getting your parents to hear you out. This means giving them your full attention when they speak and asking them to do the same for you. It can also be helpful to find common ground and build on areas of agreement rather than focusing solely on areas of disagreement.

Why do parents sometimes struggle to see things from their children’s point of view?

Parents may have biases and beliefs that make understanding their children’s perspectives difficult. Additionally, they may feel a sense of authority and responsibility to make decisions for their children, making it challenging to relinquish control.

How can I approach a conversation with my parents about a topic we disagree on?

It can be helpful to start by acknowledging your parents’ perspective and expressing empathy for their concerns. From there, you can work to find common ground and explore potential compromises. It’s also vital to remain calm and respectful throughout the conversation.

What are some common reasons parents may not listen to their children’s logical reasoning?

Parents may not trust their children’s judgment or feel threatened by their children’s growing independence. They may also be dealing with their stressors and challenges, making it difficult to fully engage with their children.

What can I do when my parents dismiss my opinions without considering them?

It can be frustrating when parents don’t take your opinions seriously, but remaining calm and respectful is critical. You can try explaining your perspective more clearly or providing additional evidence to support your argument. If that doesn’t work, it may be helpful to seek out the support of a trusted adult or counselor.

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