September 5


Say Hello to Our Confident Kiddo: How We Raised a Child with Sufficient Self-Esteem

By Joshua Turner

September 5, 2023

As parents, we all want our children to grow confident and capable. It’s only natural to want to protect and nurture our kids, and one of the most important ways we can do that is by building their self-esteem. But what does it mean to have a child whose self-esteem is genuinely sufficient?

Let’s start with having an understanding of self-esteem and how it develops. It involves providing love, support, and guidance and creating opportunities for our kids to explore their interests and strengths.

Key Takeaways

  • Building self-esteem is an integral part of parenting.
  • Various factors, including experiences, relationships, and achievements, help shape self-esteem.
  • Parents can help their children develop a healthy sense of self-worth by providing love, support, guidance, and opportunities for growth.

Understanding Self-Esteem

Importance of Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is the way we perceive ourselves. It is our belief in our ability to succeed and cope with life’s challenges. A healthy self-esteem is important for our mental and emotional well-being. It helps us to feel confident, resilient, and capable of achieving our goals. On the other hand, low self-esteem can lead to insecurity, self-doubt, and anxiety.

Self-Esteem and Individuality

Self-esteem is closely linked to our sense of individuality. When we have a strong sense of self, we are likelier to have healthy self-esteem. It means accepting ourselves for our strengths and weaknesses and recognizing ourselves as unique individuals with talents and abilities. We feel confident and secure in our relationships and the world when we value our contributions.

Understanding self-esteem and its importance is essential for our mental and emotional well-being. By valuing ourselves and recognizing our unique qualities, we can cultivate healthy self-esteem and build a strong foundation for success and happiness in life.

Role of Parents in Building Self-Esteem

Parenting Techniques

Parents are vital in building their child’s self-esteem. It starts with providing a safe and secure environment where the child feels loved and valued. Parents should use positive parenting techniques such as active listening, empathy, and problem-solving to help their child develop a positive self-image.


Parents should provide constructive feedback on the child’s efforts, not just their achievements. It helps the child understand that their worth is not solely based on their accomplishments but also their hard work and dedication.


Praise is another important tool for building self-esteem. However, it’s essential to provide specific praise that focuses on the child’s strengths. Parents should avoid empty praise or comparing their children to others. Instead, they should acknowledge their child’s unique qualities and encourage them to embrace individuality.

Parents can help build their child’s self-esteem by providing a safe and secure environment, using positive parenting techniques, providing constructive feedback, and giving genuine praise. They can help their child develop a positive self-image and the confidence to succeed.

Influence of School on Self-Esteem

Teachers’ Role

Like parents, teachers are also important in shaping a child’s self-esteem. A supportive and encouraging teacher can help a child develop a positive self-image. On the other hand, a teacher who is critical or dismissive can damage a child’s self-esteem. Teachers who provide constructive feedback and recognize a child’s strengths can build their confidence and self-worth.


Peer Pressure

Peer pressure can impact a child’s self-esteem. Children who feel accepted and valued by their peers are likelier to have a positive self-image. However, those who are excluded or bullied may experience a decline in self-esteem. Schools must create a safe, inclusive environment promoting positive student social interactions.

Classroom Environment

The classroom environment can also influence a child’s self-esteem. A positive and supportive classroom environment can help children feel comfortable and confident. On the other hand, a negative or stressful environment can lead to feelings of anxiety and self-doubt. Teachers can create a positive classroom environment by encouraging collaboration, providing opportunities for success, and promoting a growth mindset.

Teachers, peer pressure, and the classroom environment contribute to a child’s self-worth. Schools can help children develop a healthy and positive self-image by creating a supportive and inclusive environment.

Challenges and Failures

Learning from Mistakes

Making mistakes is an essential part of learning and growing. Encourage your child to embrace their mistakes as opportunities to learn and improve. Help them understand that everyone makes mistakes and it’s okay to fail sometimes. Teach them to analyze their mistakes, determine what went wrong, and how they can do better next time. It will develop resilience and the ability to bounce back from setbacks.

Dealing with Criticism

Criticism can be tough to handle, especially for children. Teach your child to listen to feedback without getting defensive or upset. Help them understand that criticism is not a personal attack but an opportunity to improve. Encourage them to ask questions and seek clarification if they need help understanding the feedback. Teach them to take criticism constructively and use it to their advantage. It will develop a growth mindset and become more confident in their abilities.

Challenges and failures are an inevitable part of life. It’s essential to teach your child to face them head-on, learn from them, and use them as opportunities for growth and development. Encourage them to be resilient, embrace their mistakes, and take criticism constructively.

Encouraging Strengths and Talents

Recognizing and Nurturing Strengths

As parents, we want to help our children develop a strong sense of self-worth. One way to do this is by recognizing and nurturing their strengths. By doing so, we can help them build confidence in their abilities and encourage them to pursue their passions.

To recognize our child’s strengths, we observe their interests and natural abilities. We encourage them to explore different activities and hobbies, and we pay attention to what they enjoy and excel at. Once we have identified their strengths, we provide opportunities for them to develop and showcase those skills.

Nurturing our child’s strengths involves providing support and resources to help them grow. It may include enrolling them in classes or workshops related to their interests, providing them with materials and tools to practice their skills, and offering positive feedback and encouragement.

Promoting Independent Learning

Another aspect of building self-esteem is promoting independent learning. By encouraging our children to take ownership of their education, we can help them develop a sense of responsibility and self-efficacy.


To promote independent learning, we give our children the tools they need to succeed. It may include creating a designated study space, providing access to educational resources, and setting achievable goals. We also encourage our children to take initiative in their learning by asking questions, seeking information, and taking on new challenges.

Fostering independence and self-motivation can help our children develop the skills they need to succeed in school and beyond. Recognizing and nurturing our child’s strengths and promoting independent learning, we can help them build strong self-esteem and confidence in their abilities.

Impact of Achievements on Self-Esteem

Scholastic Achievements

Scholastic achievements play a significant role in boosting a child’s self-esteem. Children who receive high grades or are recognized as honor students feel a sense of accomplishment and pride in their abilities. This recognition encourages them to work harder and continue striving for success, enhancing their self-esteem.

Parents can help their children by providing positive reinforcement and celebrating their academic achievements. Displaying bumper stickers or certificates of accomplishment can also be a source of pride and motivation for the child.

Non-Academic Accomplishments

Non-academic accomplishments can also have a positive impact on a child’s self-esteem. Children participating in extracurricular activities such as sports, music, or art develop new skills and talents. These accomplishments can help them feel more confident in their abilities and boost their self-esteem.

Parents can encourage their children to pursue their interests and participate in activities they enjoy. Celebrating their non-academic accomplishments and displaying their achievements can also be a source of pride and motivation for the child.

Both academic and non-academic achievements can positively impact a child’s self-esteem. Parents are important in supporting and encouraging their children to pursue their interests and celebrate their achievements. They can help their children develop healthy self-esteem and confidence in their abilities.

The Role of Play and Unstructured Time

Benefits of Play

Playing is a crucial component in building a child’s self-esteem. Children learn to explore their surroundings, express themselves, and interact with others through play. It also helps them develop their creativity, problem-solving skills, and emotional intelligence. Playing can take many forms, such as imaginative, physical, and social.

Importance of Unstructured Time

Unstructured time is essential for children to develop their self-esteem. It allows them to engage in self-directed activities, such as daydreaming, reading, or playing in the yard. Unstructured time allows children to explore their interests, develop independence, and build confidence. It also helps them learn to manage their time, prioritize their activities, and make decisions.

Parents can help children develop their creativity, problem-solving skills, emotional intelligence, and independence by allowing them to play and engage in unstructured activities. It is essential to prioritize play and unstructured time in a child’s daily routine to ensure their overall well-being.

The Influence of Media and Society

Comedy and Self-Esteem

Comedy significantly impacts our lives, and it can either boost or hurt our self-esteem. George Carlin, for instance, was a comedian who used his platform to challenge societal norms and beliefs. His humor was thought-provoking and made people question their beliefs, which can be empowering. However, some comedians use derogatory language and make fun of people’s physical appearances, which can damage self-esteem.


Societal Standards and Competition

Societal standards and competition can also impact a child’s self-esteem. American consumer culture is built around competition and the idea that we must have the latest and greatest things to be happy. This mentality can lead to constant inadequacy, harming a child’s self-esteem. Moreover, societal standards of beauty and success can create unrealistic expectations that can be difficult to achieve.

It is essential to be mindful of the media and society’s influence on our self-esteem and our children. Comedy can be empowering or damaging, depending on the content, and societal standards and competition can create unrealistic expectations. As parents, we must teach our children to be confident in themselves and their abilities, regardless of what society tells them.


Raising a child with sufficient self-esteem is challenging but worth the effort. Childhood is a critical time for developing self-esteem, and parents play a crucial role in building their child’s confidence. As a parent, it’s essential to provide your child with a supportive and nurturing environment that encourages them to explore their interests and talents.

It’s also essential to acknowledge your child’s special abilities and accomplishments. Celebrate their successes and encourage them to learn from their failures. Remember always to speak the truth to your child, even when it’s difficult. Honesty builds trust and helps your child develop a strong sense of self-worth.

Many parents turn to God for guidance in raising their children. Faith can be a powerful tool for building self-esteem and instilling values like love, kindness, and compassion. Parents who incorporate their beliefs into their parenting style can help their children develop a solid moral compass and a sense of purpose.

Above all, love is crucial in raising a child with sufficient self-esteem. Unconditional love and support provide a foundation for your child to grow and thrive. Remember to show your child affection and praise them for who they are, not just what they do.

Raising a child with sufficient self-esteem is a journey that requires patience, dedication, and hard work. However, the rewards are immeasurable. Giving your child a supportive and nurturing environment, acknowledging their special abilities, speaking the truth, incorporating faith, and showing unconditional love can help them develop the confidence and self-worth they need to succeed.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can we continue to support our child’s self-esteem?

Providing unconditional love and acceptance is one of the best ways to support your child’s self-esteem. Encourage your child to express their feelings and thoughts, and listen to them with empathy and understanding. Celebrate their achievements, no matter how small, and help them learn from their mistakes.

What are some ways we can encourage our child’s confidence?

Encourage your child to try new things and take challenges. Praise their efforts and progress, not just their achievements. Help them set realistic goals and work towards them. Teach them to focus on their strengths and positive qualities.

Are there any books or resources you recommend for building children’s self-esteem?

There are many great books and resources available for building self-esteem in children. Some of our favorites include “I Like Myself!” by Karen Beaumont, “The Self-Esteem Workbook for Kids” by Megan MacCutcheon LPC, and “The Power of Positive Thinking for Young People” by Norman Vincent Peale.

What are some signs that our child’s self-esteem may be decreasing?

Some signs that your child’s self-esteem may be decreasing include low self-confidence, negative self-talk, fear of failure, and social withdrawal. They may also be more prone to anxiety or depression.

How can we help our children healthily handle criticism?

Teach your child to view criticism as an opportunity for growth and learning rather than a personal attack. Encourage them to listen to feedback with an open mind and consider different perspectives. Help them develop a growth mindset, where mistakes are seen as opportunities for improvement.

What positive affirmations can we use with our children to boost their self-esteem?

Some positive affirmations you can use with your child include “I am capable and strong,” “I am loved and valued,” and “I am proud of who I am.” Encourage your child to come up with their own affirmations that resonate with them and reinforce their positive qualities.

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